religiousmom:

for my final trick, i shall turn into a disappointment

255,612 notes

dani-saur:

prokopetz:

You were so focused on whether you COULD do it, you never stopped to ask whether you SHOULD.” - Ian Malcolm, Jurassic Park

Oh my God who are you

(Source: theinturnetexplorer)

862,441 notes

sugar-galaxies:

blockedhead:

paramore-5ever:

blockedhead:

two japanese men walk into a bar. the first japanese man says “i am japanese!” the second japanese man says “i am also japanese!” the bartender then says “well, hey. i’m japanese too”.

the bar was in japan.

must be why everyone is speaking in english

this is a dubbed text post

the manga was better

106,073 notes

prismaticpuppeteer:

This will forever be one of my favorite things ever.

43,719 notes

stardusttx:

twirliest:

steampoweredplayer:

lollie-pond:

larryismyhallelujah:

thetasrose:

peachy-blisss:

myswagisnice:

I love my mom.

image

I am risking nothing

image

I AM SORRY FOLLOWERS, I LOVE MY MOMMY

Will not risk.

image

sorry followers :(

I’m such a fucking sucker

1,510,435 notes

One of my favorite things to do is talk like a hillbilly at random times. I’m pretty sure I left a note to my boss about a job I had half done that read “Gabe, I had a ‘14 Escape on hold for a failed restraints control module; it’s been diag’d, New module ordered but you may want to give it to one of my team mates cause the center console is ALL DONE TORE UP!’

4 notes

empoeria:

polskiepantzwopodziemne:

"This is heaven, You can stop praying now" one of the best things ever written.

what about God wearing the shirt with “GOD” printed on it. and everything about God in general. and blissful headsplodies. DEM HEADSPLODIES ALEX

True. I just love this as a jibe at Christianity. The nun splodin’ errbody’s heads is timeless too.

That and Nny making the guy check all his food for freshness…

(Source: shutoffmywant)

1,085 notes

"This is heaven, You can stop praying now" one of the best things ever written.

(Source: shutoffmywant)

1,085 notes